youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
