Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize