Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize