she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
