my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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