dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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