Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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