This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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