You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
