i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
