yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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