I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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