I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
he thought i was a dude.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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