I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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