he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Life without a bra equals bliss.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
