just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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