Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
