Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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