Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I still have a little drunk in my system
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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