Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize