is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Sorry about my life...
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
