How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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