I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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