you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
