Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
