life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize