I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
