Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Everclear isn't food dammit
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
