Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
