Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
