I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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