the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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