dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You dont lie about slip and slides
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
