So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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