Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
