Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
