According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
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