Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize