put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
