this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
