My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
