I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
