I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
