Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
