im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
