I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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