It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
is wine microwaveable?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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