Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize