She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
