I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
this boner is exhausting
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize