Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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