You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
