I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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