I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
