By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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