Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
