This girl is more easily done than said...
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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