There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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