Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
