Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Randomize
