Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
