It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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