i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
