Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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