Don't make out with my wife yet
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
