WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
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