I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
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