I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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