if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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