and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
So vagazzling was a success
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
