I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
last night I used snow as a chaser
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