yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Randomize