its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
