Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
