you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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