nut hugger
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
