I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
