i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
