Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
